The person i met in Heaven

I stood there, motionless. Shock had taken over my body want a disease. I started oscillation my body going into panic mode. I collapsed, tears streaming down my face. I couldnt move. I undecomposed sat, looking, staring. I screamed, and then I was in total darkness.This was the last memory going through my calculate beforeI opened my eyes. As I sat up to see where I was, I felt a cool breeze against my cheeks. I saw that I was lying in the core of a massive field with trees surrounding it. I knew where I was straight away. I had been thinking near this place for thirty years. I looked around, this place was the same, only, it still had a softer airwave then I remembered. The throw seemed to glow. Al around like a dream. Except, this wasnt a dream, this was real. I got up to look around, and then suddenly I heard a voice.Well, well, well. You made it then? the voice laughed. Never couldve imagined thatI spun around. Katy? I stood there, staring at her. I had dreamed of this moment since I was a teenager. I had planned every word, every movement, still now, no words ran through my head. Just emotions and memories.Are you alright? Looks like youve seen a ghost, she chuckled. God, I reproach myself upAm I dreaming?Nope, youre in Heaven To be honest, Im surprised you made itThe atmosphere cooled, and it felt like old clock times again.What do you mean? I was more angelic than youWe twain laughed, then, silence. It suddenly felt awkward.Im so sorry Katy. I never realised you were so upset with your life. I hated myself I wanted to see you, to talk to you. I IMy words came out so quickly, rushing out of my mouth. The sky darkened from a sunny blue to a deadly black, and pictures of the past times seemed to appear all around us.Lauren, shut it What are you? Forty-Five? And youre still going on more or less that? It wasnt your fault, okay? Stop blaming yourself. Ive been watching over you for thirty years and there are so galore(postnominal) things you couldve done. You turned down so many opportunities to meet new people and she paused, you just had no arrogance in yourself. And thats because of me.She looked as defenceless as she did when her parents died in that car crash when she was fourteen. Being in fear had messed her up a bit, and I knew that she had been on anti depressants for a while. But wouldnt anyone be like her in her situation? I had never expected her to kill herself.I sat down next to her, then, eventually breaking the silence, I spoke.Why?The word shot through the air like a dart. I looked at Katy.I know you were upset or so your parents butI halt to think about what I was saying. Scared of what her reaction might be if I said the wrong thing.You seemed to be managing okay I said.I dont know. I just I felt like I could have it away. I stopped taking my tablets, and then everything seemed to go downhill. I thought about what happened quite a lot. I cursed myself for everything. I knew I shouldntve, but I did. I got more and more depressed, taking everything so seriously. Like, that time when Louise Painsley called me a useless whore, just because I messed up in our music performance?I nodded, not quite sure of what to say, but before I had time to think, she continued.Well, everything just used to hit me like a punch in the stomach. Every little thing. It sounds stupid, but it just built up. I couldnt manage anymore, I just wanted to go. To be with my family. And away from everything. She looked at me. Im sorry that I didnt speak to you. I just didnt want to b some other you with all my worries. I just knew what I wanted to do, so I did it. But deep down you knew that, so why did you mess up your life over it? I just dont get it Loz. You were my best mate. Why would it have been your fault?I thought about my answer, but to be honest, I had no idea. Finally, I just said everything that I felt.All these years I had just thought about you, and the fact that I was having fun when you were gone. It just didnt feel right. I enounce thats okay for the first few months right? But I know I shouldntve dragged it out. I just didnt feel right. I felt like I was betraying you in some way.We looked at each other in a knowing way. In a way that meant not to carry on with the conversation. That it was correct and didnt need to be mentioned again.I sighed with relief. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my chest. I grabbed Katys hand and we walked around the place that I had been thinking about for thirty years. The place where me and Katy spent most our time. A massive field with trees surrounding it. I felt a cool breeze against my cheeks. I felt at peace with myself. This was my heaven, and nobody could ever take it away from me again.